Ottawa, ON – In a stunning turn of events, disgruntled owners of Parkdale Media Labs’ (PML) robotic monkey butlers are banding together in a class action lawsuit against the manufacturer, seeking compensation for damages, injuries, and even insults inflicted by their mischievous mechanical simians.
Affected Models and Firmware Woes
Owners who experienced the chaotic antics of the malfunctioning firmware version v106.0045 are now coming forward, revealing tales of disobedient, belligerent, and occasionally violent robotic monkey butlers. Despite internal warnings, PML Inc. allegedly knowingly released these problematic models to the unsuspecting public.
Class Action Details
If you or a family member owned or leased a Robotic Monkey Butler or Robotic Monkey Assistant from January 1, 2017, to October 24, 2021, you may be eligible to participate in the class action case. The law firm handling the case, Pennywhistle, Rosenthal & Cornbread, is inviting affected parties to fill out a form and mail it to their Ottawa office.
Grievances and Injuries Galore
The litany of complaints includes biting, scratching, spitting, prodding (both non-sexual and sexual), pinching, shin kicking, and even stabbing with sharp or dull implements. Some victims report attempted poisonings, while others claim their robotic monkey butlers attempted to play the song Unskinny Bop by the band Poison, over and over again.
Compensation Choices
If the lawsuit succeeds, participants get to choose their preferred method of compensation. Options include traditional methods like cheques, e-transfers, and cash in unmarked brown sandwich bags. Notably, Google Play gift cards are also on the table for those who want to add a digital monkey business flair to their compensation.
Models Included in the Claim
The affected models include the PML Model 1B Robotic Monkey Butler, PML Model 3X Robotic Monkey Assistant, and the PML Model 45A Robotic Monkey Butler with 3D glasses. Additionally, a peculiar inclusion is the PML Model CCD-Ville Robot Chicken with Bluetooth Pecker.
Identification of Affected Business
Participants need to provide detailed information about their robotic monkey butlers, including the date of purchase or lease, the vendor, model, serial number, firmware version (if known), and any peculiar behaviors exhibited by the rogue machines, such as changing default web browsers to Netscape Navigator or noticing cigarettes always going missing.
Previous Monkey Butler Experiences
The lawsuit form also inquires about previous experiences with robotic monkey butlers, exploring whether this was the first encounter or if victims had dealt with a less violent brand or even a live monkey dressed as a butler before.
Contact Information and Preferred Choices
The form concludes with standard contact details and a quirky touch, asking for shoe size, the boss’s name, and an inquiry into whether the boss has any hot daughters. It also probes into preferred brand of smokes and mobile operating systems, adding a touch of humor to an otherwise absurd situation.
Monkeying around may have its limits, but for PML’s robotic monkey butler owners, the stakes have just been raised in this unprecedented class action lawsuit.
About The Author
